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Heath Buck

Heath's Profile

Douglas Campbell

Doug's Profile

 
WHAT PART DO YOU PLAY IN THIS JOURNEY?

I am the stupid ideas man, and I mean the ideas are stupid - not me. Generally I'm blunt but harmless.

 

I'm the slightly OCD, techy guy that helps make Heath's stupid ideas possible. And often more stupid.


WHO ARE YOU FOOLS AND WHY DON'T YOU HAVE REAL JOBS?

Yeah, I kind of gave up working for a bit, but here's what lead me there.... Left uni --- had a decent career in Human Resources --- decided to quit when doing my best paying job for my most enjoyable employer --- got drunk in Thailand for a month --- went to Japan to pick up some professional camera equipment --- ran out of money around Hong Kong'ish --- flipped a coin and went to Korea to teach English for a bit --- decided heading home in style would be better than my usual economy class flight home.


 

I'm intent on spreading the international freshness and core ideology of the TechNomad. I decided to do this by getting into web design. A loose connection? I assure you not dear friend! The only way to randomly travel and not have some crappy job where you're constantly evading the immigration police is to be able to make western money from anywhere you can get online. Especially if it is a beach hut that has fruit shakes, wifi and the occasional crab that scuttles across the floor.

HOW MIGHT YOUR FRIENDS DESCRIBE YOU?

"Heath? He's not an arsehole."
OR "We get on much better since he moved to Korea".

 

"He's kind of like a bad cold, you think you've gotten rid of him then he'll send you a massively long email."


YOU MET BRIEFLY IN 2005 AND HAVEN'T RECONVENED SINCE. WHAT IF YOU DON'T GET ALONG?

There are many places where people can't hear you scream... Whether it's screams of pain or it's sadistic screaming because the sick Yank likes it is a different matter. But believe me, he will scream.


 

I will end him in the mountains of Nepal and pay our sherpa to say he fell. I will cry convincingly at his wake and laugh everyday when I get up and realize I got away with it.

WHY DID YOU AGREE TO THIS (SLIGHTLY) INSANE ADVENTURE?

I suggested the idea to Doug whilst we were drunk in a Hong Kong - I never expected him to shake my hand swearing he'd not let me down OR that he'd even remember the pact. (There is little else we remember from that night). The true reasons I am going is that an Englishman:

a.) Never backs down.
b.) Never shows weakness in front of our American brothers.
c.) Never shys away from an opportunity to wear a tuxedo.


 

I do remember a drunken handshake and then a phone call six months later from Heath. I knew such a project would need a pretty hot-sauce web site and offered my new media marketing savvy without thinking twice.

Truthfully, I'm always up for a travel adventure. And I do like the way I look in a tuxedo. So considering those points it's pretty obvious that I did it for the black-tie groupies.

WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 3 PERSONAL GOALS FOR THE TRIP?

1. Reduce the number of uptight arseholes residing in this world (if only I could meet George Bush...)
2. Have an English tea party at Everest base camp.
3. Secretly urinate in Doug's lemonade flask every day until he dies from alcohol poisoning.

 

1. Convince as many people as possible that not ALL Americans voted for Bush or have feuds with their midget-cousin-lovers.
2. Sample as many cheap massages in as many cultures as humanly and financially possible.
3. Hide Heath's condoms and secretly set him up with a gorgeous but very STD infected prostitute in the Eastern Bloc.


WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT?

The possibility of getting kidnapped, it could launch me as a writer!

 

I would have to say either the sex, drugs and rock n' roll OR wearing a tuxedo in India's searing heat. It's a close call.


WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN?

Actually having to spend the whole trip with a Yank called Doug. Or worse still, imagine getting kidnapped and instead of doing the humane thing and lopping my head off, they confine me to a prison cell with the delirious, rugged and hairy-chested Yank as company!


 

Probably encountering an angry mob who really isn't really amused by our project. OR realizing in a small tent that Heath is sexually attracted to rugged, hairy-chested American men; and he's forceful about his affection. In fact I'm more worried about the latter.

WHAT IS YOUR PERSONAL ‘RAISON D’ETRE’?

On a serious note: Being the quintessential atheist I don't have an afterlife to look forward to, so I guess I need to do all my living in this life. Less seriously: To live like Doug's going to die tomorrow.


 

On a serious note: To live like I'm going to die tomorrow. Less Seriously: To keep running until I find my raison d'etre. Not Seriously? To wear a purple monkey hat and waltz the cream cheese samba.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF EACH OTHER?

You think I understand Doug enough to have a view on him? He's like this big blob of Yankee energy that bounces around with a cheesy grin adorning his erratically shaved face. Travelling with Doug will probably be like a bad dream gone wrong, a nightmare that I'm just too stubbornly polite to back out of. However I do know 1 things about him: He is stupid enough to travel around dangerous parts of the world looking rich in a tuxedo, you don't get much more stupid than that...

Read Heath's Profile...


 

Honestly? Don't really know the guy. Admittedly we had some very fun times in Hong Kong when we were both dating Thai karaoke girls but then again, who wouldn't? In general I like abstract definitions: A 'Heath' is 'generally an area of open, uncultivated land'. A 'Buck' is 'usually a male antlered animal' OR 'sometimes a fashionable and typically hell-raising young man'. So I guess that's what we're all expecting: 'a hell-raising young man in an area of open, uncultivated land'.

Read Doug's Profile...



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